“please do not use the demeaning and hateful term “adopter”

Such was the plea from a mother who decided to adopt several children.

Much of the naming convenitions, the etiquette, the politics is relatively new to me when it comes to what we should call people eho have adopted. How we should label the mother who gave birth.

In some circles it’s offensive to call the mother who gave birth

birth mothers

biological mothers

I can understand why the above could cause offensive as it reduces the mother to an incubaotr. Given that many adoptions were illegal and forced.

But a person who adopts, is by dint of what they do an adopteer in as much as the child that is adopted becomes an adoptee. Speaking as an adopted child myself I see noting wrong in either of those terms. But the question raised and the subsequent vigorous debate got me thinking.
I’ve taken to refering to the peole who adopted me as Adoptive Parents, Adoptive Mother, Adoptive Father, or APs, AM and AF. Is this rude or offensive and if so why? No I really am asking the question.
Also I do know that some people who have been adopted dislike the term adoptee.They don’t find it offensive they just don’t like beiing refered to as an adoptee.

 

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